still alive.....

[crimson_angel]

I've been so stressed out lately, with teaching, and work problems. I cannot stand that place or the people or the customers. Before I just grinned and beared it, but now, I find myself so angry-agree at everyone, including myself, b/c of these circumstances. If the job market was better, I'd be out job hunting, but I need the steady paycheck-so I stay. I just realized that apart from my high school fast food job, which I worked for 10 years, this is the longest I've been at any job. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.

Then, there's the novel. I feel so overwelmed by it all. I'm geeked to finish the rewrites, but i just haven't had the mental energy to devote to it. I need to get back into the swing of daily writing. Back when I was doing that, I never had any trouble writing-it's as if my brain was programmed to write, and all I did was interpet everything. Really. And the marathons at Forward Motion were (and still are) a great help.

I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere. It could be the depression talking, b/c I've been depressed for quite awhile. Part of it is the frustration that lately all I've been doing is eating, sleeping and working. :( Nothing else. Even my lunch hour is nuts, b/c we have all these visitors, who need to be entertained, so there's no peace. I love (and need) that quiet time. I asked my hubby to shop himself today-usually we go together-b/c I'm wiped out. And i have a project I'm doing for a student that was pretty involved, and I *just* finished it. So true to form, I gotta hit the shower and get to bed.

I really cant wait for vacation time-I haven't taken any yet and hubby wanted to go somewhere-but even a few mental health days would be great.

Tell me it's gonna be ok.
Tell me I'll feel better.
Cuz it feels like Hell to me. :(

CA

Comments

[lloydsgirl.livejournal.com]

oh Erin.. *hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that things have been stressed for you lately.. I know that feeling of hating your job and getting annoyed with everyone. That was me in my last job.. but like you, I stayed because I needed the paycheck. Hopefully the job market will pick up soon and you can find a new and better job.

I hear ya about the rewriting... I've been meaning to do that myself with my novel but never have yet... I hope you get back into your daily writing soon.

I've actually been having a great time creatively.. yesterday poetry was just flowing out of me... as I was doing this sort of back and forth "rap off/Rhyme off" with a friend of mine. I have to post them in my journal later today.

When is your vacation time? I hope you get some days off soon.. take care babe.. Luv ya.. *hugs*

*small smile*

[crimson-angel.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetheart. I appreciate the support. I still need to talk to hubby about the vacation, so I can figure out if I can take a few mental health days or not. Hopefully soon.

Great about the poetry! I *havehavehave* to read it.

CA